When A Saint Chooses You!

I am notorious for saying that sometimes the Saints choose to be y o u r  friend.  I feel exactly that way with St. Faustina. I’ve mentioned on my social media pages that St. Faustina is the patron saint of B*B.  In fact, I have an old blog post about it – titled “B*B’s Patron Saint”.  This entry is old, but short, sweet, and to the point.  Quite honestly, she demanded to be the patron of this little business and I welcomed it with open arms.  After all, St. Faustina was known for being close to Jesus, and her trust in our heavenly Father. I could not be happier with her insistence to become the main intercessor of B*B.  She always desired for the things she did to be brought to Jesus, the same way as I desire for my creations to bring people closer to Him with every stitch that I create.

Throughout my life I have always known {of} her.  Can’t say I had any relationship or knowledge of her outside of the Divine Mercy Chaplet before starting this business, slowly but surely we have become friends over the years.  I appreciate all that she does as she prays for B*B.  I can confidently say she prays even when I do not ask her to.  She challenges me to Trust the Father when I forget and she reminds me constantly of her prayers for us all – in very bold and in very simple ways.  What most people don’t know is h o w her quote affected me after I realized she was the true patron saint of Blessing of Blankets.  It’s near and dear to my heart.  To get a feel for its significance, allow me to share the entire quote with you, and specifically the parts that impact me.  

  “This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God’s presence prompted me to say to the Lord, “O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the [number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook.” Then I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, too great are your demands. “Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather than a little.” That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice. “Well, Jesus, I offer You this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications, therefore I ask You, Lord: accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal of obedience as great things.” Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.”

St. Faustina’s Diary, 961

This quote arrived after a major and painful event in my life.  A darkness that quite honestly, I believed I wasn’t going to survive through, even with starting B*B and using it as a tool to offer up my sufferings and sacrifice.  I was recovering from abuse, starvation, and many other horrific things.  I was suffering, deeply, and I was going to continue to suffer with no true end in sight.  But in this dark period of time, God gave me a gift.  He blessed me with this idea to create, Blessing of Blankets, and it wasn’t until long after my life exploded that I realized how essential this gift was to me, my life, my healing, and my future.  The Lord provided an intercessor that was unique to what He called me to create.  But once again, how did this quote affect me?  To understand, one must evaluate this quote piece by piece 

a n d how I acquired it.  

As I walked through my sea of nightmares, I was heavily reflecting on how the saints suffered with JOY.  I desired j o y.  I desired Jesus, and I desired for the agony I was under to s t o p.  But mostly, I desired that my sufferings meant something.  That they would have a purpose.  If I had to go through this pain, what was it being offered up for?  I also really struggled with the concept of joy when you aren’t going through joyful things.  Where does that joy come from?  

(You can see my previous blog post titled “Joy” because it was written in the time that I am referring to).

St. Faustina was a beautiful example of deep suffering and her diary shares that depth.  So off the bat, I know that she understood my pain, she carried her cross with such beauty and grace, exuding a profound ability to trust in His divinity.  

At this time, I was in therapy, and actively in spiritual direction.  I was bound and determined that I was going to do the steps to heal, take care of my mind and my soul so that I could heal my body.  As I sat and cried to my spiritual director about the horrors that I discovered about my abuse in therapy, we got on the topic of my business and my mission.  He asked if I had ever read St. Faustina’s diary.  I responded with…”no, but I have wanted to.”  He kindly said, “I have a quote that I want you to reflect on next time you pray.  It’s from her diary, and I think from there God will guide your heart towards these goals you seek.” 

So I went home, bought the book, and turned to entry 961.   Obviously this passage was written while St. Faustina was crocheting.  Meaning she was not only creating something with her hands, she was praying through the creation as she worked.  Interceding on this earth for souls.  Souls she had never met, but knew of God’s love for them.  Small works, great prayers.  

“O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the [number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook.”    

Immediately, every single time I read this sentence, I am reminded of my mission with B*B.  THIS is the sentence that will forever impact my work.  My mission to bring back the intention of a gift does not fall short of the bigger picture.  God’s mercy and grace is intertwined into each and every stitch that I create with whatever tool I use to create it.  While it might be a desire to bring more people to Jesus, I more so hope the Lord continues to use me as an instrument of conversion, like I use a crochet hook or a knitting needle as an instrument to create a blanket.  So many stitches and knots are bound together to make any blanket.  It doesn’t matter whether or not someone might interact with my business, there are souls out there in need of prayers.  I like to hope that the prayers with each stitch gives more people the opportunity to find Him all over the world.  To seek Him when they feel lost, or in need of his Love and Comfort. But I also try to remind myself to not get lost in my work either.  That I too am in need of His grace and His comfort as I make these creations.  I am only human.  Sinful, and in need of His strength, mercy and grace.  My gifts and talents are no different or more special than anyone else’s.  But I am aware that they would not exist if it weren’t for His will and desire for me.   

“every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice.”

Art, skill, talent, small businesses, they take immense sacrifice.  But so does creating anything.  It’s laboring on your body, on your mind, and takes time during the day.  The term ‘offer it up’ heavily plays an impact when you create something from scratch for the good of another.  Especially if it is during a time when things are far from good.  It is not easy to own a small business, in fact, I have never worked harder in my entire life.  But I go back to my previous question that I desired to be answered with my spiritual director, “how do I give my suffering purpose?”  It’s that word, sacrifice, that gets me every time I read this quote.  When you love someone, you make automatic sacrifices.  When you love what you do, you sacrifice to give it the attention that it needs.  But when your goal and desire is to bring souls that Jesus loves to the foot of His cross, then not only are your sacrifices worthwhile, but so are theirs.  This is where I found that giving my sufferings purpose for the joy, peace, or comfort of another to be more worthwhile.  I was not alone, and neither are you.     

“Well, Jesus, I offer You this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work.”

With each and every blanket I make, custom orders I produce, conversations that I have, posts I create etc etc.  I am offering Jesus the hard work from the talent that HE GAVE ME!  What I do is not mine, but it is H I S.  Oh the joy!  Miraculous because I am offering back a talent gifted to me.  I understand it’s not groundbreaking.  I know that I am not the only one that can do this skill of knitting or crocheting, but before I even began this business I said “Lord, if this is your will for me to do, make known the purpose to go with it.” And He delivered in full force.  My whole heart goes into everything that I create.  But I am also reminded that Jesus was a carpenter.  He worked with his hands.  He gave of His talents.  He redeemed, saved, and gave of His heart through his works. I am grateful to attempt a following of His footsteps in another means of creation.  In a form that I know how.  Offering every blanket, uniquely and wonderfully made back to Him as a gift to one of His children.    

 Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.”

As I re-read this sentence I always feel a sense of peace.  All of our prayers are heard.  They all will be answered.  The tough part is surrendering and trusting that God knows what He is doing.  Either way, He answers because He desires a relationship with each of us.  That’s why I love the gift of a blanket.  When times are joyful, then it’s an item of beauty to commemorate the celebration.  Useful daily, and aesthetically pleasing.  When times are rough, sorrowful or dark, blankets offer a sense of warmth and comfort that one might just desire.  

Hard to believe that after I created this business, and when I was/should have been discerning a patron saint for B*B that one quote would change the course of B*B’s focus and motivation from there on out.  I look back at the previous blog post about St. Faustina that I made 4 years ago and I see that I wasn’t ready to share how greatly her words in her diary impacted me.  Instead, it took four years, a lot of suffering, praying, and also joyful moments to be able to recognize that this quote, shapes each and every aspect of what Blessing of Blankets stands on.  

Love is not without sacrifice.  Jesus is always desiring an intimate relationship with each and every one of us.  We are all HANDCRAFTED.  Uniquely, and wonderfully made in His image.  Daughters and sons of the ever living God. Can you say whoah… sometimes I feel I shock myself by these facts.  Whatever might bring you closer to Jesus today, allow your heart to be open.  It might be in someone’s smile, a quote from someone you respect, a saint trying to become your best friend, or in a handmade item that offered you a moment where your heart smiled.  Trusting in Him and His works isn’t always easy.  St. Faustina’s life is proof of just that.  She desires more for you.  Which is why I feel she made her presence in this business so known.  If I can leave you with anything today it’s that, the pursuit for your heart is ongoing, and I pray that it deepens and strengths so that you might know that you were created for more.